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depression . [Feb. 3rd, 2007|11:51 am]
I haven't drank in 6 months. My life isn't the same, it ill never be what it was.
I know now that this desiese i have may very well kill me. I have known i have had this desiese sense i was 22.
I have fought it every step of the way, and it is still there.

I am going through depression; I sleep, I don't have energy to work out or look for a job. I am not happy about my weight, tho it is not as bad as it was. I FEEL unlovable most of the time. In the' sense girls/women are obviously not into me. I have tried.

I play music with my best friends , tho I am happy with the development, things are not happening fast enough for me. I feel we should be playing more shows. I feel that we are not working hard enough ,tho that is hardly the case. I have a paranoia that we are not accepted ... that no one is cool with us. I know this is not true, but this is why I am crazy.

I really could use a blow job ,but i am not going to get it.
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Sober again... [Oct. 6th, 2006|01:22 am]
So now I have Over a monrth of not drinking at all.
I am trying to get on with it.
I know now more than ever i connot controll my drinking.
My drinking controlls me.

Things saRE clearer to me.
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(no subject) [Sep. 8th, 2006|10:39 pm]
maybe i should get a hair cut,
fuck it.
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i quit drinking. [Sep. 1st, 2006|09:52 pm]
im in a program of recovery.

now i have a super mega boner that wont go away.
yeah, well i also haVE THE will to carry out my inhabitions...
finbd some where to put it.
if i had a girlfriend,she would be worn out by now.
wierd .

i want to fuck every thing that moves.
i havent felt this way sence i was 16.

yeah im fealling good.

i also work out a hour a day.

i have gone down another waist size.
i have another 40 - 50 pound's to go. i think i can do it.
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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2006|02:19 am]
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am i wasting my time [Jul. 21st, 2006|08:51 pm]
somthing deep down inside me tells me yes, yes i am.

we should have had our shit together by now.
im pissed off frusterated irate ,and it is knida like that hole "now where do i put this thing "

yeah music is gonna make me insane.
it was fun it was silly, now now tell me...
wsho is going to tell me.
why why am i
what thee fuck.
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2006|01:44 pm]
fuck.im totally all of a sudden broke.wow.
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snake skin alarm clock [Jun. 24th, 2006|11:10 pm]
it is heavy thunder
making love to the chrimson sky
it is that tiney teardrop you brang to my eye
im not afraid to admit, it is time to quit

kick me out of the casket
put my brains in a basket
now im really livin
but now ive got no love to be givin

it is a crying shame
i really suck at this game
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spinning out. [Jun. 24th, 2006|03:41 am]
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(no subject) [Jun. 23rd, 2006|10:59 pm]
im o.k.
im vegan again.
i made some money.
i have been sharing a motel with 2 sweethearts.

i want to play rock n roll.
at ny age i ave nothing to lose.

hay you, beutifull creture..try me.
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