||[Feb. 3rd, 2007|11:51 am]
I haven't drank in 6 months. My life isn't the same, it ill never be what it was.|
I know now that this desiese i have may very well kill me. I have known i have had this desiese sense i was 22.
I have fought it every step of the way, and it is still there.
I am going through depression; I sleep, I don't have energy to work out or look for a job. I am not happy about my weight, tho it is not as bad as it was. I FEEL unlovable most of the time. In the' sense girls/women are obviously not into me. I have tried.
I play music with my best friends , tho I am happy with the development, things are not happening fast enough for me. I feel we should be playing more shows. I feel that we are not working hard enough ,tho that is hardly the case. I have a paranoia that we are not accepted ... that no one is cool with us. I know this is not true, but this is why I am crazy.
I really could use a blow job ,but i am not going to get it.